Great Shawlands Republic 3

We have heard great things about the last two Greater Shawlands Repbulic events and are planning to go along to their third one ourselves this week. Here is what they have to say for themselves.

"The organisation dedicated to overthrowing the yolk of Glasgow City Council control and freeing the Southside of Glasgow will be convening on the weekend of Jubilee. The assembly will be a mixture of a comedy, cabaret and heated debate on whether or not Shawlands needs a queen.

The debate over the monarchy has deeply fragmented the party. A recent poll shows that almost half of all GSR party members believe that Michelle McManus has the strongest claim to the throne. There had been a rival movement amongst some other party members who were firmly behind the claim of Stannis Baratheon, however this support fell away when they learned that he was fictional. However, there are still some supporters who refuse to give up and who who claim that it is Stannis Baratheon who is in fact real and Michelle McManus who is fictional.

The monarchy debates comes at a bad time for the party after the recent schism at the General Assembly of the Church of Shawlands. Controversy ensued after delegates voted that marriage should be between a man and a woman or a man and a man or a woman and a woman or a man and many women or a woman and many men, but NEVER AGAIN should it be between a man and a potato. A number of party members decided to jacket in.

The whole debacle comes after the launch of their 'why not' campaign failed to make much impact. The poorly attended event only attracted five people including celebrities PC Tony Stamp from The Bill and Alan Cumming.

The assembly will start at 8pm on June 3rd at the Bungo, 17 Nithsdale Road and is open to all. Southsiders can get in for 5 pollocks and 99 shields which at the current exchange rate is £5.99. As per usual West Enders will have to pay 6 pollocks. 

Light relief on the night will be provided by evangelist Reverend Obadiah Steppnwolf III and leader of the fledgling People’s Republic of Paisley Scott Gibson. 

Il Presidente of the Republic Bruce Morton and his first deputy Andrew Learmonth will oversee proceedings."